Aliva HOUSE RULES

Rule #1: Be ThOUGHTFUl, RESPECTFUL, AND KIND.

Overt unkind and/or disrespectful behavior or speech in the form of racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, ageism, body shaming, ableism, religious discrimination and the like will not be tolerated. Staying vigilant of and reflective upon your own behavior in this space is strongly encouraged.

Also, political discussions are fine. However, discussions that venture into the territory of debate over whether a person or group of people has or should have more rights than another person or group of people are not fine. These discussions are not about politics, they are about basic humanity, which I believe is never up for debate.

ALSO, if you thinking you are getting sick OR recovering from being sick — but not yet recovered — please stay home to avoid getting others sick… and be sure to hydrate! :)

RULE #2: BE RESPECtFUL AND KIND TO ALL CREATURES — Even TEENY tiny oneS.

This could easily have been part of Rule #1 (see “Be Thoughtful, Respectful, and Kind” above), but I believe it warrants its own rule, because it’s not quite as cut-and-dry as “Don’t be a transphobic meanie-head.”

While this obviously relates to humans, it also relates to other creatures you may see in my home — flies, ants, spiders, bumblebees, etc. (I don’t make a habit of keeping these guys as pets, but it’s possible they have chosen to keep me as theirs… I just don’t know.)

That said, if you come across a small creature you don’t think belongs inside, please find me so that I can either remove it or ask that it pay the suggested donation.

Also, no weapons. (Duh.)

Rule #3: SHOES OFF, PLEASE.

You are strongly encouraged to bring your own cozy slippers/house shoes from home to avoid getting dog hair on your socks. (I also have lint rollers for any unwanted hair you might have collected while at Aliva House.)

RULE #4: ENTHusiASTIC Consent is mandatory.

It goes without saying — or should, maybe — but overt, verbal and enthusiastic consent is mandatory for all types of touch (including hugs). It is 100% ok not to want a hug.

Additionally, no one will be pressured to participate in any activity they are not enthusiastic about, and everyone is encouraged to take quiet/alone time whenever. You are also encouraged to let me know if you would like some space separate from the crowd and I will happily offer you an unoccupied area to take a brief pause until you are ready to return to the group.

Rule #5: Be COURTEOUS TO MY DOG (AND LATCH the GATE BEHIND YOU).

Playing with my dog(ter) — her name is Leah — is encouraged, and there are several toys and colorful tennis balls available for this purpose. Giving treats is also encouraged! (She is VERY good at catching them in the air and it’s fun to watch.) However, if you are not much of a dog person, I ask that you merely acknowledge her once in awhile. A simple “hello” will do just fine.

Please also make sure the gate is latched in the yard so she stays safe, and be sure not to feed her anything that may poison her, such as grapes/raisins or chocolate. Feel free to ask me if a particular treat is ok for her. (Most standard food-based things are fine, but doesn’t hurt to check if you’re unsure.)

RULE #6: ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR NEEDS AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Thirsty? Get some water. Sleepy? Make your way to a safe location and take a nap. Feeling under the weather? Take yourself home or ask for help. Check in with yourself regularly and communicate directly with your host or the people around you when you need something you can’t easily get for yourself.

RULE #7: BRING YOUR YOU-EST YOU.

As much as possible, I want for Aliva House to be a place that doesn’t require masking. Having lived a full 4 decades now feeling pressured to be less silly/goofy/absurd/weird/sensitive, I am now in the business of supporting others in doing just the opposite.

I say that to say that if you are in my home, I want to witness your you-est you. This does not mean you don’t have to follow a rule you don’t like, but it means that if, in your heart of hearts, you do not feel like doing a particular thing (smiling, talking, dancing, playing a game, sitting in a chair, eating, drinking, etc.) OR if (for example) you prefer to read or draw or do a puzzle or lie down while others are dancing, please PUSH YOURSELF toward comfort and alignment — internally and externally. Just be safe and come find me if you need any help (like a space away from the dancefloor to draw or do a puzzle).

RULE #8: SEE SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE ALIVA HOUSE EVEN betTER? TELL ME.

I absolutely LOVE when guests suggest rules that help me with making Aliva House a safer, friendlier, more inclusive space — doing so is welcome and encouraged. The same goes for general input/feedback/ideas of any kind — I LOVE the creativity energy that you bring (yes you!) and want this space to be as inviting FOR YOU as possible.

Please email me directly at aliva.coaching@gmail.com.

Thank you! :)